8 Potentially Harmful Things Parents Do Without Even Realizing It
1. Not Interacting With Your Child Enough
"Boys in our neighborhood were super friendly. Like, totally unafraid
of strangers friendly. After they ran into the lady taking care of our
cats while we were on vacation, they asked if they could give her a hug.
She turned them down and had to explain to them why they shouldn't ask
strangers for hugs. They aren't bad kids, but they are so interested in
everything you do, trying to talk to you every time they see you, that
you can tell they get very little interaction in their lives." —keeperofcats
2. Holding On to the Past
"Get stuck in the childhood of their kids, and never get to know who they are when they grow up. Maybe
it is instinct to protect the precious piece of their children that is
completely their own, the childhood. It is love, if jealous one. But
kids grow and new layers of skills, hopes, fears, and personality
features develop every passing year. If parents keep treating and
thinking their child is same as he/she was 4-year-old (and sure, many
ways he/she is), it is not good for relationship later on. In the end
he/she could be complete stranger to parents, if they keep interacting
only with the memory of him/her as child. So remember,
children grow and if not change, they do get more complex. Don't assume
you know everything, get to know your kids in every age." —silverburn
3. Not Acting As the Authority
"Not
teaching their children to respect and obey them. This can be
dangerous. I know of a toddler who almost ran across a busy highway, but
stopped and stood still when his mother yelled for him to stop and not
move. So many are afraid to be the authority in their child's life. This
must be done if you truly love your child. Too many are raising spoiled
little brats that can't handle being adult enough to go off to college
without needing mommy to come change their diapers when they have a
temper tantrum." —3joan
4. Never Apologizing
"Just
never apologizing in general. You can maintain your status as the
authority figure while still occasionally admitting you went too far. I
hold within me a very bitter ball of feelings made up of all the
situations where I should've received an apology but did not. I would
assume many other people do as well." —OneGoodRib
5. Disregarding Good Behavior
"Ignoring their good behavior. A child sitting nicely and reading,
playing nicely, cleaning up, or being polite? They're doing fine, so I don't have to parent that?
How would you like a boss who always tells you where you need to
improve, but never gives any regard to what you are doing well?" —ballabas
6. Only Rewarding Them for Talent, Not Effort
"There's
an enormous amount of research that shows praising children's talent
causes them to adopt a mindset of avoiding things that might show
they're not
actually that smart/talented, rather than engaging in new challenges as a
chance for growth. Kids should be praised for trying and failing and
trying again, not just for getting things right the first time." —Starsy
7. Relying On Embarrassment As Punishment
"When
the kid is misbehaving in public and the parent claims a total stranger
is going to yell at/hit them/be mad at them for misbehaving, an excuse
by the parent to not have to do the parenting themselves. You are making
your kid afraid of strangers who are likely not child abusers at all
and would be more willing to listen to your kid and understand why your
kid acts out so much. You are setting up your kid to potentially have
issues like social anxiety and to be isolated later in life." —redlentils
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